


Even Angels Need Angels

by starespressos



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Dean/Cas Tropefest 5k Mid-Winter Challenge, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Past Castiel/Meg Masters, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Road Trips, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 13:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10571964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starespressos/pseuds/starespressos
Summary: It took Dean a while to paint together the shattered image of The Unsaid that was now placed right down on the dashboard. They were lucky – the road was empty as Dean jumped on the brake.A silence. A shaking, trembling, vibrating silence of broken lines all over the mountains up ahead and the valleys below.”Castiel,” Dean said, his voice was low and as shaky as his hands, ”This better not be what I think it is.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Mid!! Winter!! 5k!!
> 
> No rambling, just thanks:  
> [Janet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sconesandtextingandmurder/), for kind betaing,  
> [Saga](http://www.instagram.com/sagadeer), for picture edits, banner and further betaing beyond your comfort zone, I love you,  
> [superkittycas](http://superkittycas.tumblr.com) for kind words, suggestions and patience.

Castiel let his eyes meet Dean’s across the car. They forced a smile for each other and gazed back at the road. The air, usually so comfortable around them, was now heavy with The Unsaid and they’d passed the point of how-are-you’s a long time ago.

_Thank you, Dean._

Castiel sighed and watched them pass a lone biker. This was one of the rare situations where he felt no obligation to keep his attention on the driver. He trusted Dean, that much hadn’t changed, even though time had stretched between them leaving both scars and space for growth.

_Thank you._

Once or twice, Castiel inhaled and leaned in a notch – as if he remembered a good anecdote and felt like sharing it. When he rested his eyes on Dean’s face, though, he retreated with haste. Dean was in no mood for jokes; he had just bailed on his family for Castiel.

Some part of Dean was, of course, angry. His knuckles were prominent and pale against the wheel, his jaw clenched every so often, his eyes were flicking a bit; these were the sort of giveaways Castiel had learned to recognize in his friend long ago. Best he could do, now, was to lay low and let Dean pull through and come around. After all, that was why he was here in the first place.

 

*

 

The first time Dean pulls through and comes around, Castiel is fourteen and dying. First, his breath is hitching in his throat and it makes his heart flutter inconsistently, but then it’s worse, so much worse, way too fast. A sharp flash of green follows a sharp flash of red – red, white, purple, green, brighter and brighter – a rave party of strobe lights behind Castiel’s eyelids. Right here, between the oak trees and close to the harbor with the ferry he was so fond of; _this is where I die._ His knees meet the concrete with a sound that shouldn’t be as loud as it is and pain crosses his adolescent body, making him yelp. His body starts liquifying, melting away as thousands of millions of needles stab through his skin and let his essence ooze out from collateral pinpricks. _At least I’ll pour away towards the sea._

Then, there’s the voice. There’s no touch, nobody looming over him the way he’d imagine medics would, there’s just a voice and as he shakes his beanbag of a head, he recognizes it as singing. It’s a song, emanating from outside his line of sight – as the disco ball drops and the party flattens out behind his eyelids, he immediately tries to find the source. He’s now lying on the ground, eyeing the space around him. Just as he’s starting to wonder whether he was hearing things, too, the song makes way for a lighthearted talking voice.

”Hello there, sir.”

The voice belongs to a boy. He’s at least two years younger than Castiel and his voice is only starting to change. He gets up from his bench under a tree and walks to offer Castiel a hand.

”H-”

”No need to speak. Here, take my hand.”

Castiel complies. As he straightens his posture, it’s obvious that the boy was already taller than him. Awkwardly, he wipes his palms against his shorts as the boy lets go of his hand.

”Thank you,” he says, trying to at least _sound_ like the older person. The boy flashes him a smile that battles the sun in both radiance and warmth and nods.

”No worries. I’m Dean. Do you need anything? Lemme just-”

”No, Dean, it’s okay. I’ll be fine,” Castiel says, forcing on an assertive smile. He’s well on his way from anxious to embarrassed and he doesn’t need a child for a witness. ”I’m heading home now.”

”Okay. Uh,” the boy hesitates for a while before sighing and sliding a card into Castiel’s hand, ”contact me if you need me again.”

 

*

 

Surely enough, Castiel hadn’t needed a child. He’d felt appalled at the mere thought. It had taken another near-death experience before he understood Dean was _meant_ to be in his life – even though it later turned out he’d been giving those business cards to everyone in hopes of some detective action. Everyone who’d joined their lives afterwards had to adjust around their friendship. And although life had taken them apart after college, not even a 23-hour drive between Oregon and Kansas could keep them at bay if there was a need for pulling through and/or coming around.

Never before had it occurred during a regular work week and in the middle of the night.

As Castiel let his gaze caress his best friend’s profile once more, he was pleased to see that some softening had happened already. Before he could open his mouth, Dean huffed.

”So, I got like thirty minutes of shuteye last night. It still gets damn cold at night.”

”Did you sleep here?”

Dean nodded. Before the silence returned, he continued.

”And I waited to pick you up before eating.”

 _Which, coming from Dean, is saying a lot,_ Castiel thought. Then again, most things between them felt like a lot.

 

*

 

Castiel is shaking. Echoes of the collision are still loud and clear in his ears as he bends over to let out whatever he’d consumed that day, and he feels like he might faint. This is a whole different situation than the one at the harbor a couple of years ago – this isn’t anxiety, this is a _real_ problem. Still, Dean is the first and only person Castiel can think of right now. There’s still that card somewhere in his wallet and although he has to get back into the wreck of the car to retrieve it, there’s not much else he can do.

”Yeah?”

The voice change is complete. Castiel’s mouth twitches, but the feeling of guilt is imminent and leaves him buried in flashbacks of what just happened.

”I can hear her”, he says, ”Dean, I can hear me asking ’how the hell are you driving’ and I can hear her saying ’what do you’ and- and silence.”

There is a clicking noise on the line. Castiel squeezes the phone tight, holding his breath, waiting for a reply – any reply.

”Uh, I’m drawing a blank here, sorry”, Dean says, his voice is concerned and warm but obviously lost right now.

”I didn’t tell you my name”, Castiel gasps, ”and your name is Dean.”

”Well, yeah”, Dean laughs, ”but if we’ve met, I’ll remember you. I’m kinda good with faces.”

”You gave me a card”, Castiel says, now slowly walking away from the car. A couple of people pass by, scrutinizing him, but they’re not going to interrupt their morning commute because of a little accident. ”And I was in a car crash.”

If someone asked Castiel what happens between that sentence and the moment Dean wraps his arms around him, he couldn’t say; everything that matters is that someone is there for him now. The ambulance took his mother to the hospital immediately – Castiel vaguely remembers a cervical collar and lots of hushed voices. _Why didn’t they take you with them_ , Dean asks, but Castiel can’t risk losing his breath; it takes all he has not to faint due to hyperventilation. Dean grips him tighter, pulls him against his solid chest, to suffocate – no, to even out breathing with controlled oxygen intake.

_Thank you for coming, Dean._

”Hey, no worries. I didn’t leave you my number for nothing.”

Dean’s voice, as he starts singing again, is almost physical. It wraps around Castiel and makes it feel like a galaxy is cocooning him. This is _safety_.

As they part ways outside the hospital doors, Castiel promises he’d contact Dean soon – even without an emergency. Dean’s smile upon hearing that splashes Castiel’s guts with warmth.

 

*

 

 

They ate an early breakfast at a quaint log cabin of a restaurant. The sun was lazily starting its climb towards the roof of the sky, but the chill of a night past made fog linger. Castiel enjoyed this time of year – the feel of an inescapable summer ahead, but the air still fresh after winter. More than anything, this was a time to drive on serpentine mountain roads. It was as if Dean had already read his mind; they were definitely heading north.

The air between them had lifted momentarily, because excellent food is prone to do so, but as they returned to the vehicle with takeaway coffees in hand, the heaviness returned. They had now travelled for a good couple of hours, only talking about food and weather and bikers, really – The Unsaid was still there between them, steady and looming. Apparently, Dean had had enough of it now.

”Spill it.”

Momentarily, Castiel squinted at his cup, but shook his head then.

”I don’t know what to tell you, Dean.”

”Aight, look, Cas. I’m happy you called me. I’m thrilled, buddy. But you need to tell me what you need or I can’t help you out.”

”There’s nothing you can help me with.”

”I’m done with silences and saying things are alright or whatever, okay? I thought we were over that already.”

”I apologize for-”

”No, Cas!” His voice was suddenly both louder and higher and he sighed to even out before continuing. ”I’m worried about you. I thought you were doing alright in- with your friends and at work and with-”

”If you’re going to say Meg, we broke up weeks ago.”

”Huh?”

There was the faintest glint of emotion lost somewhere in Dean’s smaragdine eyes, but he covered it like the master of suppressed feelings that he was. Castiel had long since stopped interpreting it as relief – because it was always there when Castiel’s relationships or relationships-to-be failed – and he could still remember the awkwardness of The Afternoon That Would Never Be Brought Up Again.

”Yes,” Castiel let himself consider what parts of their breakup he felt comfortable to share before continuing, ”When we got together, I knew what kind of a person she was. I knew she was more outgoing and extroverted than me and initially, I hoped she’d drag me out so I’d get out of my comfort zone. I tried – and I tried to change, to be better, to be what she deserved, but it didn’t work out. Apparently, I’m… still just me and there’s not a lot I can do with that. In the end, I ended up more tired than before and she ended up frustrated enough for us to break up.”

Dean groaned, apparently at nothing in particular, and let out a sigh.

”Is this why I’m here?”

”It would do you well to pay attention. I clearly stated that our relationship ended weeks ago. I have no hard feelings. She deserves someone more suitable for her. We just didn’t match.”

”Alright. Then what is it? And please don’t go back into that whole ominous silence act on me now. Dude, I drove for a decade. You owe me.”

”I’ll pay for the gas, Dean.”

”Cas!”

”Alright,” Castiel muttered, ”I would have talked already, had I known where to start.”

 

*

 

The Afternoon That Would Never Be Brought Up Again places them in a day somewhere in mid-August; they’re sitting on the couch in an apartment Dean has rented. It’s close to the college they’re attending and Sam, Dean’s brother, can live there too – but now he’s visiting their parents with his girlfriend and they’re left to their own devices in the greatest heat wave of a lifetime. They’ve stripped off to the socially acceptable minimum and try to stay sane, basically splattered across the floor in starfish-shapes, occasionally groaning with frustration.

At this point, they’ve been best friends for four years. They’ve shared their deepest secrets, guilty pleasures, and recipes – and Dean has even accompanied Castiel to the hospital. His mother never made it out of her coma and Dean was the only person Castiel trusted enough to drive with.

”You know, fuck this,” Dean sighs and throws a pizza place flyer across the room since it failed as a fan. ”We should go swimming.”

Castiel lazily adjusts his head so he can see Dean, who’s closer than he sounded. He opens his mouth to say something, but somehow stars align right on this moment, and they both fall silent. Dean exhales lightly and frowns, letting his eyes fall on his best friend’s lips – and the world is in an abyss, in an infinite soundless sphere of nothing but the two of them, and they kind of lean in closer if that’s possible while lying on the floor, and-

”Shit,” Dean says, swiftly getting up, ”I’m sorry, Cas, I-”

There’s a silence that stretches. This time, it’s stabbing.

”I’m sorry,” he repeats, this time with more composure, ”I can’t do this.”

”Do what, Dean?”

Castiel feels a sharp pain in his gut that confirms what he’s recently been thinking about anyway; his feelings for Dean aren’t solely on friendly terms.

”This,” Dean squeaks, gesturing vaguely between them, looking more like he’s trying to fly with one inward-turned flappy hand, ”I can’t let something like a romance come between us.”

Castiel tilts his head. ”I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

”See, Cas,” he claps his hands together and brings them to his lips, shutting his eyes for a long, long while. ”I love you. You’re the craziest, weirdest, best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t deny I didn’t ever think whether I’d feel more towards you and it might be that I do, you know? But I’ve thought this through on a sleepless night. I can’t risk our friendship. I can’t lose you, damnit!”

Castiel gets up and hovers over to Dean. He’s unable to say anything, but he reaches his arms out as a gesture to hug. Dean happily complies and they stand like that, in the middle of the living room, for a moment.

”I screw up everything and everyone I ever get involved with, alright? I don’t want that with you, Cas. You’re too damn important.”

Despite the feeling of something heavy and dark settling in somewhere inside Castiel’s chest, he nods.

”I’m going to respect your decision. I think it’s for the best.”

 

*

 

Towards the afternoon, the fog cleared. Dean had been kind enough to give Castiel some time to assemble his thoughts, but his patience was running thin. He drove to a parking lot of some seemingly random gas station and tapped the wheel.

”I’m gonna get us more coffee now, but after that, I don’t want to hear any more of your silence. I get enough of that when you don’t answer my texts.”

Castiel laughed.

”I’m sorry. I’ve spent more time at the observatory than I would have preferred.”

”Look at you,” Dean grinned, ”and you thought you’d never get a job that matches your education.”

Luckily, it didn’t take Dean long to fetch drinks; Castiel had time to take off his trenchcoat, but not much else. Dean was still grinning as he returned, and Castiel answered with a frown.

”There ya go, sunshine. Now, let’s get to it.”

Dean gently placed his cup next to the gear stick and pulled out of the parking lot. Castiel wrapped his palms around his cup as if to seek warmth, which was now hardly necessary - during daytime, they could already get around 60 Fahrenheit. With a sigh and a squint, he finally started talking.

”I’m tired all the time. Like I said, my work takes more time than I would like to give to it. Of course, breaking up was painful but in hindsight, at least like this I feel a little less guilty for staying home.”

The Unsaid was knocking right under Castiel’s ribcage, but he was not letting it out.

”And… and there are many people I take care of,” he said, hoping this wouldn’t require more explanations, ”and there are more people in my life than I have time to keep in touch with. Still, I feel lonely at times.”

Dean shook his head, most likely trying to understand at least _something_ . He was right; Castiel himself felt like he still wasn’t _saying_ anything – just chattering.

”So wh- Sorry, Cas, I don’t think this is one of those situations my singing can help you with,” he said with a dry laugh, ”but what do you want me to do here, exactly?”

”I just need to get away for a while.”

Dean coughed. ”And you couldn’t do that with, say, your own car?”

Castiel ran his palm across the passenger door.

”I missed her.”

Dean laughed.

”Now you’re just flattering us.”

Castiel hummed in agreement and fell silent. Trees were still a prominent feature of the landscape, so it would take a while longer to actually get into the serpentine roads. They could get something to eat from a store and enjoy a meal outdoors at a pit stop of sorts before continuing; in some of Castiel’s wildest dreams, they would eventually end up where the border met the sea.

After a while of silence, Dean coughed again – this time with a lot more restraint.

”You know, I’m not satisfied with your answer yet.”

”Hm? What does that mean?”

”I know you, Cas. Don’t you dare underestimate me. There’s something below the surface that you’re not telling me.”

Figures. Dean had always been way too sharp for his own good – or Castiel’s, for the matter. He let the words form for a while before answering.

”I’ve reached my limit, Dean,” he sighed, and that was so close to The Unsaid that it made Castiel shiver, ”I have been helping some people out, but-”

”What people?”

”Like I said, I’ve got friends. After Meg and I broke up, I’ve been spending my time with a couple of people who are in hard places right now. I’ve given support.”

”Okay, I think I get it. What kind of support are we talking, here?”

Castiel glanced over at Dean. He was concentrating hard on both the road and what Castiel was telling him and it made his face strained. Maybe they should pull off the road for a while.

”I’ve listened to people. I’ve tried to come up with solutions. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night to listen to them talk. And it’s been okay until recently."

Dean rolled his thumb across his lower lip in concentration. If Castiel got lost into the gesture for a while, he shook himself free immediately.

”But recently, I’ve developed this feeling of not being…” The word was heavy on his tongue and he considered before using it, ” _appreciated_. It’s like these people don’t understand I’m a real person with limited capability. And it’s even worse with some; there are people who outright deny there’s anyone helping them out.”

”That’s vague, Cas. Please, use more words.”

”I walked a friend to see the doctor the other day. He wanted me to join him in the appointment, which I did – and right there, with me in the room, he told the doctor he’s got nobody to help him out. The previous week, I’d made him dinner every single day. I’d called places so he didn’t have to. I’ve asked his ex-girlfriend to stop contacting him. And – and he said he’s got nobody.”

”Like you wouldn’t count,” Dean said.

”Yes, Dean. Like I wouldn’t count. Not that I help out people to be thanked for it. But I don’t want to be denied my existence, either.”

Dean sighed heavily before forcing on a grin that looked sad.

”Seems like you’re giving more than you have. I’ve been there, too.”

”Guess who my idol in that has been?”

A light blush highlighted the freckles on Dean’s cheekbones.

”Yeah, well. I haven’t always been right, either.”

”I am aware of that, Dean. And I’m thankful you’re here now. It’s like I’ve lost my… essence in a way. My well is dry. I’m exhausted.”

It took Dean a while to paint together the shattered image of The Unsaid that was now placed right down on the dashboard. They were lucky – the road was empty as Dean jumped on the brake.

A silence. A shaking, trembling, vibrating silence of broken lines all over the mountains up ahead and the valleys below.

”Castiel,” Dean said, his voice was low and as shaky as his hands, ”This better not be what I think it is.”

 

*

 

Castiel’s voice comes out broken.

”Dean, I’m sorry I’m calling, I know you’re having dinner with your family,” he says, ”I am afraid.”

”What are you afraid of?” Dean asks, his voice a lifeline through the speaker.

”Dean...”

”No, just tell me what you’re afraid of. I sensed you were a bit off from your texts earlier, so don’t try to-”

”Myself.”

”What?”

”I’m afraid of myself, Dean.”

A short silence, synced out by static.

”Alright. Do you want me to drive there?”

”It’s 23 hours, Dean. No, I don’t need you to drive right now. Just have dinner. I’m sorry I called.”

”No! Cas, please. Talk to me. Tell me more.”

”I haven’t slept in a week, because I keep on getting anxiety attacks. I am so tired. I can’t do this anymore.”

”Ah, shit. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

”Would it have helped either of us?”

”I guess not. I’m sorry, I’m not trying to guilt trip you here. Let’s talk for a while. Tonight, I’m going to google you some things you can do when you can’t sleep.”

”Trust me, I’ve googled them all.”

”Then we’ll go see a doctor or something. Don’t worry, Cas. I’m not gonna let you go.”

A sense of relief surges through Castiel’s veins and it’s almost as if they’re not in fire anymore. During the night, Dean sings to him through the line and for a second, Castiel lets himself imagine them together under the blanket in the dark room he now resides alone. He falls asleep before the call ends.

 

*

 

”I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dean.”

As always, Dean has walked into the heart of things.

”Cas.”

Dean puffed out air but didn’t continue talking. Castiel felt his phone buzz in his pocket and knew it was from the person that pushed him over this final edge. His fingers fiddled with the hem of his trenchcoat so they wouldn’t retrieve the phone from his pocket.

The message could really have read anything. It was a burden to even know it was there. With a sigh, Castiel formed the final words.

”I’m tired, Dean. I’m not saying this is a suicidal journey, but I know I’m too tired to care if I return.”

There was almost a sob coming from Dean, but he prevented it with firm, inhaled silence.

”Dean-”

”Fuck you, Cas.”

Castiel blinked.

”Dean, I mean-”

”I said fuck you!”

His voice was loud enough to break the ether, and Castiel acted on impulse – he was out of the car in an instant, storming off to the opposite side of the road. It was bare minutes since the landscape had finally opened up to some views of mountains. They were gradually traveling upwards and although this wasn’t nearly as high as they could eventually go, the view from the side of the road and down from the ledge was impressive. Lower down, spring was in full bloom and it was gently climbing up the sides of the mountains.

Castiel heard the Impala wheels crunch, but before he could fully panic at Dean leaving him here, the engine stopped. Dean had parked the car across the road and got to his feet, too – or at least Castiel thought he did, he was way too… Scared? Confused? Stubborn? to look at the man.

Eventually, they were standing side by side, taking in the view.

”It’s warm,” Castiel sighed.

”Yeah, the sun’s bright here.”

Dean shook off his own jacket, leaving him in a black t-shirt. Knowing the man, this was practically naked and against all odds in the shattered world right now, Castiel felt slightly out of breath. Oh, – no, _not this -_ Castiel had loads of things to think about right now and none of those things should leave him time to swoon. Instead, his eyes rested easily on Dean’s face as he closed his eyes to bask in the sunlight. Eventually, though, his gaze dropped to Castiel with a frown.

”I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said, tentatively. ”I shouldn’t have.”

”You were upset.”

”You don’t need to defend me. You’re tired, you come to me for help, it’s not my place to yell at you.”

”I’ll accept your apology,” Castiel said, ”I know the things I said are not what you’d wish to hear after you left your life in Kansas to come meet up with a friend.”

Dean groaned, like there was something below his surface, too. The words he settled on came out rough and unpracticed.

”It’s- it’s _you_ , Cas, goddamnit. You make sacrifices for those you love.”

Coming so soon after Castiel’s own drifting thoughts, the words sounded sickeningly pretty – but he knew better. After all, Dean had implied he loved Castiel right after their graduation and he’d never mean it as something that was beyond friendly. After a quick moment of silent self-judgment aimed mostly at his skipping heart, he composed himself.

”Still, you have other things on your plate. Your family is one of them.”

”The hell I do. Lisa left me a long time ago.”

”What?”

Castiel was appalled. Since when were this kind of information not shared with him?

_Well, you didn’t share your breakup with Meg either._

”Yeah, well,” Dean said with exaggerated easiness to his voice, ”it was about time.”

”What happened?”

”We’re not here to talk about me now,” he retorted, but Castiel was not having it. After a short stare-off so familiar to them, Dean rolled his eyes.

”I realized I’m not in love with her. I love Lisa, but _in_ love? Nope.”

”Is there a difference?”

Dean followed Castiel’s head tilt with his eyes before giving him a look that was nothing short of _affectionate_.

”Oh man, is there? The feeling of ’sure, this person is important to me and I want them around’ versus the feeling of your guts melting at the thought of being with someone?”

”Ah,” Castiel said, recognition flooding over him, ”the universe exploding, planets bending, and stardust in your veins. That feeling.”

The silence was one of the sweetest ones in their mutual history. All those puzzle pieces were finally slotting in places and forming a picture; a lot more beautiful than the one with The Unsaid.

Castiel hummed before finally adding an exclamation point after the question marks.

”The feeling when I’m with you.”

Dean didn’t hesitate. He was in Castiel’s personal space immediately, a hand pressed firmly against the back of his head, their foreheads touching.

”Cas, please. Please be selfish.”

With his voice strained, Dean locked eyes with Castiel.

”I need you. Please be selfish for once.”

Castiel nodded, even though his head was swimming.

Their lips fit together perfectly. A gentle breeze ruffled through them, pressing them tighter against each other, making them shiver at the touch that was long overdue but also so, so early and new and painfully raw. And it was starlight, it was all those spring meadows Castiel loved to spend nights stargazing upon, the dewdrops he’d collect early in the morning and the radiation of a million moons that orbited around them, tying them together with their orbits. As Dean let go, Castiel chased him for another kiss before speaking.

”I’ll be if you’ll be.”

”Oh,” Dean laughed, letting his hands slide down Castiel’s arms to grip his hands, ”this is me being selfish. This is me doing something instead of regretting that decision I made ten years ago.”

Castiel smiled. He didn’t need the reminder, but wanted to hear it anyway.

”As soon as we didn’t kiss and you left the room, I wanted to take my words back and give this,” Dean gave Castiel’s hands a gentle squeeze, ”a chance. But you said it was for the better."

”I was lying.”

”Ah. I like that.”

A car passed by and Castiel let his gaze follow it go. He sighed.

”I am confused now. I left home thinking I’d never return.”

”What would you like to do?”

Dean’s expression was open. There was no way he wouldn’t have said yes to anything Castiel said – and momentarily he felt bad for it. Were his dreams too much?

_Be selfish._

”I would love to drive with you,” he said, his voice a whisper now, ”I would love to drive and not think about the future. I would love to see the sea after the mountains and maybe – and maybe cross the border.”

”Border crossing it is,” Dean stated, ”loud singing, sleeping on top of each other on the backseat, lousy diner food, causing commotion by blasphemously making out in public. Sound like a plan?”

”Yes, Dean,” Castiel sighed, both relieved and absurdly happy, ”yes, please. Thank you.”

Dean shook his head, smiling.

”We’re gonna teach you some selfishness, too. That okay?”

Castiel nodded and leaned in to steal another kiss before returning to the car. Dean started the car and turned on the radio. After some fiddling, he found what he was looking for – a song by The Smiths. With a grin, he started singing along and locked hands with Castiel. Leaning against the leather seat of the Impala, Castiel agreed with the song with a smile that felt like it was pulsating warmth to his chest – there indeed _was_ a light that never went out and he was lucky enough to drive alongside him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Next logical step](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r35mGCF8db8)


End file.
